Hey, Mordo! You coming?
Back of this bike. It's not gonna ride itself.
Coming!
This day was awesome.
Yeah, I had a good time.
You are coming to watch a " X-Treme Barista" so with me and Rigby?
I can't, I've got to go to work.
But I'll be able to watch it there.
Hey, text me, and I'll be like we're watching it at the same time.
Ha. Phones are awesome.
Yeaaah, they are.
All right. I got to go. Give me a hug, you loser.
- Later. - See ya.
Today, on X-Treme Barista
Kkkk-Kid Krunchy Z!
Yo yo yo. I ain't come here to make friends.
I came here to make blends, dawg!
So Yuji better watch what's up!
YO, he say that?
Well, these three golden barista awards prove that
Yuji's number one!
So what's he got to say to that?!
Man, Yuji's gonna French-press this guy!
Are you watching " X-Treme Barista? " Hilarious.
So bad it's good.
She's so funny.
One minute begins now.
He's adding an energy drink.
Ugh! All you do is text CJ.
Just tell her you like her and quit pulling a Mordecai.
What? That's not a thing.
I'm Mordecai, I never make a move.
And I don't know what to do with my hands!
You've been doing this for years.
I'm not like that with CJ.
So how come you aren't dating yet?
Cause we're just friends.
Not every girl I hang out with has to be a potential girl friend.
Shut your excuse hole!
Yuji's on.
Ain't nobody can make a swan-espresso like Yuji can!
Care for a sip?
You don't drink from the cup!
You drink from the sky!
Still warm.
- Hahaha. - Wow.
Cappuccino he didn't!
I like yuji.
Is this some kinda Yuji psyche?!
Yuji will return, YO!
Buy my book, suckers!
Yu... ji...
Whoa?!!! No no no, cancel cancel cancel!
Ugh, what now?
My favorite barista probably has rabies and you're...
Wow. What happened?
I texted CJ " I like Yuji" ,
but it auto-correct it to " I like you hi" .
I like you too. Hi.
Wait what?! Ugh, no.
What am I gonna do?!
Destroy the phone with acid.
That makes the texts go away.
What? That's not gonna work.
I'm gonna have to ask some real people.
So that's what happened.
How do I tell CJ that I don't " like" like her,
I just like her, you know?
So you pulled a Mordecai, huh?
What the...
Come on! How long have you been calling it that!
How long have you been Mordicai?
Come on. What should I do?
Tell her the truth.
Thomas?
Well, my second girl friend liked dancing,
but my fourth girl friend with more into the deejay scene.
So, uh, try-try that.
Okay. Not really sure why you're on this panel.
Muscle Man?
One word, bro,
Cellphone thief.
Huh?
Hey!
Hey, Mordecool!
This isn't Mordecai.
This is a common criminal.
I've been stealing phones and texting people " I like you hi" all day.
I know it's you, Muscle Man.
What are you doing with Mordecai's phone?
The cops are coming! Got to go!
Sorry, bro. That always works on Starla.
Okay. Anymore advice?
Well, you have to wait four years, but...
Okay. Anything I can actually do?
Well, that was a dead end.
Ugh! Just talk to her already so we don't have to do this all day!
I have my own life, you know.
I've got this book-signing thing I want to go to.
Yuji will be at books, zines and in-betweens signing his new book,
"P.S. I love Yuji" today!
See?
That's it, Yuji!
I'll get a picture of me and Yuji,
and I'll send it to CJ and write " I like you hi. "
Then I'll send, " OOPS. I like Yuji! Dumb auto correct! "
Then she'll know my first text was a mistake, and her feelings won't get hurt.
We'll be able to keep being friends, and my life won't be ruined.
That's bad. That's like one of my plans.
You're lucky I'm going there anyway.
Just don't make me look bad in front of Yuji.
... And that was the day...
I lost my innocence.
At making coffee.
Not at making out with girls!
I did that waaay earlier... to the extreme!!!
Sup! Yuji fans!
It's an honor to meet you sir.
Yeah... Uh... huge fan.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. No problem.
Actually, I need a favor.
You see, Yuji, I sent a text about you to this girl...
And my name auto-corrected to "You-hi"?
Uh. Yeah. How did you know?
It's the only reason I'm not famous!
If people could viral market by texting about me.
I wouldn't be signing books! I would be signing diamonds!
Umm, yeah.
"Um, yeah" is right! Bro!
I went to this tattoo shop, and check out what happened.
So can I get a picture with you to show what I was texting about?
Let me take out my planners.
I think I can pencil you in.
Awesome! Where do you want to take the picture?
Ohhh we can take it anywhere extreme!
Um... How about the roof?
Can I base-jump off it afterwards?
Ok... Ready?
Ugh, the glare from the sun is too extreme.
I thought you liked things extreme.
Not when it comes to white balance, bro!
We gotta wait for that cloud to float over and block that sun.
Hey, you got a text from C.J.
It says "I got off work in half an hour ... text me then."
Ugh! We are running out of time.
Okay, so picture won't work.
Let me text this X-Treme-Anita.
"Sup? This is Yuji blowin' up your call brick!"
Sendo!
Ex-Squeeze me?
Re-sendo!
What the extreme!
Stupid phone! I can't send even my own name!
I hate myself!!
I'm such a loser.
I never should have changed my name from Eugene Mendelman.
Let me try. I can still fix this.
Come on! Send!
Dude! Chill!
Maybe if I type "You hi" it'll auto correct to Yuji!
Send! Send!
Uh, I guess warping into a phone is kind of extreme.
What? What's going on? What are we doing here?
Welcome to the Visual Messaging...
What the...
Is that you? Mordecai?
Oh... Hey... Hey guys... How have you been?
Oh, you know. Oh hey, our band put out a demo tape.
Oh cool.
It's sort of an ambient prog-rock fusion. You can keep that.
We had to move on after you didn't call.
Uh, that's all right...
Enough Reminiscing!
You stand accused of breaking the golden rules of texting...
Sending the same text message three times.
And that's the worst thing in the world!
What? Why?
It's super annoying.
Yes. And some of us have very limited data plans.
Uh, well, he's really sorry.
I'm really sorry!
It won't happen again. So if you could just show us the way out.
Burn them!
But he's right. This is your second offense!
You won't be getting off so easy this time.
I just pressed wrong button!
You don't press the wrong button three times in a row.
Listen, I'm... I just gotta go. Okay?
What?
Tell us what the problem is.
Nah, I'm just... You know... Going this way...
Where do you think you're going?!
Dude you are being really weird!
Mordecai, what are you doing? Come back!
You'd rather floating towards the infinite abyss than talk about you problem?
This is a safe place!
What are you floating away from?
I... I don't wanna talk about it.
Do you not wish to be with this C.J.?
Her texting history shows she's quite the witty and independent young woman.
And she is quite fond of you.
There's nothing out there for you. Literally nothing!
It's really boring! Trust me!
I really do like CJ.
Pft! Duh, you do.
I'm just afraid of what'll hapen because...
... Part of me is still waiting for Margret to come back.
Daddy's girl?
What? Still? She's not coming back dude! She's gone!
Look, I know! Alright? I know! It's just...
I mean, I don't still have the feelings for her. But I do in a way.
It's like this thing that's inside of me, and it's always just sort of sitting there, waiting around.
And sometimes I'll see something or I'll smell something,
and it makes me think of her. Even though I don't want to.
I really like C.j.. She is amazing.
But is it fair for me to go with her if I still think about Margret sometimes?
Dude, C.J. is way cooler than Margret.
- Way cooler. - Agreed.
This is a normal part of life.
Where one phone call ends, another begins.
Even if you don't leave a message after the beep.
So... what should I do?
That's for you to decide.
Uh, also, if you have a music blog or something, we could really use some positive reviews.
Yeah... We'll look into it.
This is it guys. This is gonna be our big break.
Are you sure about this?
I'm tired of pulling a Mordecai.
Nice!
- Yeah! - Awesome!
Wait, what does a winky face mea...
That means yes. Don't misinterpret it.
Hahah! Alright.
"See you soon."
I'm proud of you man.
Extreme Yu-Jump!!!
Look. You know I couldn't be happier,
that you didn't back down from going on this date with C.J.
I admire that. But tonight we had plans--
Man plans--Man's!
I know. I know. This is important. And I told you I was sorry.
Yeah. Well. "Sorry" doesn't help me eat a whole pizza and prank-call Benson.
But we do this every Saturday. I'm only missing it once.
You know this is a two-man job!
I'm not hanging out with you tonight dude.
- Hey! - Hi! Hey!
So. Uh. I'm glad you could make it out tonight.
Whoa-ho-ho! You're a real move-maker today.
Oh. Uh... I mean. I thought--
Hey hey. I'm just teasing. It's cool.
You already got me on a date. There is no need to impress me.
Ha! Yeah. It's cool. I'm cool.
Pfft! All right. Cool guy. What are we doing on this hot date?
Well. We could go eat at the new Falafel Fusion Truck.
Or there's the Tried-And-True Wing Kingdom.
And then I was thinking after that we could go catch a movie.
Or go to Trivia Night at the Arcade.
Or... Take a chance on Disco Night down at that weird Bingo Hall.
Yeah. That sounds good.
Uh. Which one?
All of'em. Let's start at the beginning and see how far we get.
Okay.
Uh. That van just came out of thin air.
We should go.
- Do you know them? -Nope.
Hold it right there!
Hey. Death. How's it going?
Uhhh, Death?
C.J. This is Death -- Death. C.J.
Charmed.
Well. It's been great running into you.
Oh we're not through yet.
You're gonna babysit Thomas tonight.
Aw... Man!
Um. Actually. We were just about to head out ourselves.
Well. You're in for a change of plans. Missy.
Because this joker owes me a favor.
Hold on a second.
- Yeah? - Dude. I need you to do me huge favor and babysit Thomas tonight.
Isn't he. Like. In college?
Not that Thomas -- Death's Thomas! Can you help me out?
Sorry to hear that. But I've got some important plans I can't cancel on.
Sorry we have to watch it on my computer.
I haven't had a TV since I moved out of my parents' place.
Are you at Eileen's?!
Very important!!
Sorry C.J. Looks like I can't get out of this.
We don't have to give up on out date just because of Thomas.
- Really? - Yeah! I'll just help you babysit him.
I'm sure we can still have a good time.
Okay. Let's do it!
Glad to hear it. We'll pick him up at 8:00.
Oh. A little heads up -- Thomas is going through a bit of a phase right now.
- Wait what? - Ciao!
So... We meet again.
Wow! He can talk?
Obviously.
Yeah... He's actually three hundred years old.
Then why is he so shrimpy?
Who is this female?
Her name is C.J. And you're messing with our date plans. So try to be nice. Okay>
Date?
Uh yeah.
And she's actually okay with being girlfriend to someone like you?!
Well. She is not really me girlfriend yet.
We're just on a date right now--
Oh. Such simple minds! You mortals have the most heinous rituals!
Hey. At least we're not 300 and still wearing baby clothes.
What?! How dare you?!
So. Thomas. What do you want to do?
Take me to the playground!
Hey. Not a bad idea. This could be pretty fun.
Ohhh... We'll see about that.
Where have you taken me?!
It's a playground dude.
Yeah. Go run around or something.
But where is the fire. The brimstone. The overall loss of hope?
I don't know. That guy on the bench looks kind of sad.
Take me to the underworld playground.
You haven't tried it out yet. Give it a chance.
Come on. I'll push you on the swings.
This is terrible! The swings in the underworld go much higher!
Well. Too bad.
- Follow my lead. - Okay.
All right. I'm gonna push you really high this time.
Now that's a good swing!
Keep this up and I'll w--
Wait... What the...
- Wanna share? - Yeah. Sure.
Fools! You can't leave me alone!
You are here to do my bidding!
Now take me to the underworld playground!
We can't! Just play on this playground.
Underworld! Underworld!
I'd take you. But I don't even know how to get there!
I know how.
This is how.
Dude. We can't all fit on that bike.
Not that bike -- THAT bike.
Great. But I still don't know how to ride a motorcycle.
I have a motorcycle license.
Then it's decided -- The female you're trying to impress will drive us.
How emasculating.
It's pretty cool you know how to ride a motorcycle.
Yeah. I did motorcross when I was younger.
Enough. Take a left up ahead and go into Seventh Gear.
Seventh Gear?
Do it!
Okay! Okay!
You will get used to it.
Ah, at last.
Ew, this playground doesn't look very safe.
You wanna go sit down on those swings?
I don't think they will incinerate us.
Sure.
Wow, look at him go.
Yeah. He is really in his element.
Hey, thanks for coming along and helping me.
I don't know a lot of people who'd do that.
Well, it's no disco night at the Bingo Hall.
But I am having a lot of fun hanging out with you.
Really?
Yeah, really.
You know, I think this date is going pretty good.
Push me!
Yeah, here you go.
Don't be patronize me. This are baby swings.
I was to go on the elder-boy swings.
Sure.
I'll met you guys there.
I got to hit the restroom.
I'll scream if I need you.
Got it.
What's so funny?
You and that female babysitter are never going to connect.
What are you talking about?
Oh, it's been so easy to get between you all day.
What a pitiful romance.
I've barely been able to keep a straight face.
What the... You've been trying to get between us?
Trying?
Ah! It's been as effortless as it's been entertaining.
Ah, you little jerk. That's it.
We are going home.
Oh, we'll see about that.
What? no!
I will not ask this woman for her phone number.
Huh?
She is abviously married.
I can't believe you are asking me to pick up woman for you,
while your date is in the bathroom.
Did you hear that? How awful!
Ah, who will do such a thing?
Hey, guys. What's going on?
Not much. We should probably get out of here.
Hey, buddy.
You are trying to pick up my wife,
were you?
No, no. I am just the babysitter.
What kind of sicko uses a child to try to pick up a married woman!
Look, It's not really like that!
I never go after your wife. Honest.
Oh? so now my wife is not good enough.
You think she is revolting just she is pregnant with hundruplets?
We need to get out of here.
Come on!
We've got to get to the bike.
C.J.!
Wait!
I can't drive. My ankle is messed up!
Okay. Then get into the sidecar.
Tell me how to start it.
Turn the key.
On three. Let the clutch out slowly.
Three!
We are not going fast enough!
Get out of first gear.
You stalled it! Turn it back on!
I thought you said it was easy!
Ugh. I am just trying to look cool.
Can this thing go any faster?
This is all your fault!
You make it go faster.
I know a way to go faster.
Really?
Yeah. We just need to get rid of some dead weight.
Well, then. Hurry up!
My pleasure.
What? No! stop this at once.
Oh, yeah? Why should I?
This whole time you've been trying to get between me and Mordecai.
No! No! That doesn't sound like me!
Yeah, right. You told me so yourself.
I've been looking forward to this date for a long time.
And I am sick you messing it up.
Well, out you go!
No, pull me in! pull me in!
I am the victim here!
You are the one who hit on my wife!
I was just playing with my kids!
We totally tricked Thomas into thinking we were gonna drop him.
Let's get out of here.
Curses! One of my least favourite things.
When I tell my daddy what you've done,
He will torture your souls for eternity!
Good luck going on dates then.
What the...
So, look like you're two for two. Mordo.
If you don't watch yourself,
I'll have to enlist you as a full- time sitter!
Now get out of my garage!
Wait, you don't get paid?
Nah, he just let us live.
Well, really I should thank you for that.
I can't believe you learned how to ride a bike so fast.
That was awesome!
Yeah, well. I was trying to look cool.
Alright, alright. I can get wanting to impress your date.
So did it work?
He doesn't need to impress me.
I already think he is cool.
Well, he thinks the same about her.
- You've really been looking forward to this for a long time? - Yeah.
Want a lift while we try to hail a cab?
Oh, please.
Hup.